Quentin’s Qorner: My Secret Sports Project!

Quentin’s Qorner is a weekly column written for OSN by award-winning director Quentin Tarantino about his views on his own movies and how they relate to the world of sport. This is part two of three. Click here to read the others in the series.

Now, I really love movies, man (I also write and direct them)! Movies can show you sports, which is great, but what if movies could also play sports? That’s right - what if you could play catch in your backyard with a movie? I know you’re wondering, “What the heck are you talking about, Quentin, you crazy bastard?” Well, hear me out: a while ago, I had a rat infestation in my house, and one day, they got into my film library and destroyed a bunch of my VHS tapes. When I came into the room, I saw a giant blob of tangled VHS tape writhing around on my floor. The writhing was just the rats moving around under the tape, but from my vantage point it looked like the tape was a living, moving object. That got me thinking, “Quentin, you crazy bastard, you might be onto something.” If I got enough tape and enough rats, I could make my own animatronic VHS man, man!

This is what the VHS man will look like. It was my idea!

I have been working on this project for thirty years, and I am proud to finally say it’s almost finished! I managed get the rats into a big roll of tape, but I’m still working on controlling those crazy bastards once they get in there. What I need is some kind of mind control device that allows me to form a hive mind with the rats so I could make them work together to throw and catch a baseball. I’m confident that this technology will be invented soon, and then my masterpiece will finally come to fruition. Wish me luck!

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Quentin Tarantino is a fan of the "Kill Bill" movies. --Nathan Mostow

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