Our Week in the Seychelles

As you may know if you follow us on our facebook page, OSN's board of directors went to Seychelles for our annual sports company retreat. The king of the Seychelles, King Josef "Jojo" Asaf Hlari Mbuntu III, reached out to us in an email asking for OSN's help in what seemed like a grave domestic situation. It read:

Deer Sir,
I am King Josef Asaf Hlari Mbuntu III of the Seychelles. For many year, our island was at peace. Children playing and business man was doing great work in our nation that was truly blessed by god. Howevers, I am speaking of a time that is not presently; I have been and am in grave danger from rebel soliders who have rising up against my regime. As I write this write this, my luxury palace is being broken into by those that wish to harm me. 

I humbly ask for your help in this conundrum. I know OSN is the premier network for sports journalism so I wonder, maybe, if you could find it in your heart to wire me $320 USD via Western Union or equivalent money wiring service to be addressed to the executive palace. I need the money for gas and to buy a new crown, which was stolen. I graciously invite you to stay at the royal residency so we can discuss repayment and possibly sports.

I pray for thee. please email back corrospondance ASAP. I must go.
-King Jojo III

After wiring him the money, we immediately packed our sports balls and croquet hammers and headed to the tiny island nation by transcontinental boat travel. It took seven days, and we realized about fifteen minutes in that plane travel would have been much more effective, but we cut our losses and headed out anyway. We played many sports on the boat; ping-pong, air hockey, and chess.

Seychelles is a tiny island nation off the coast of Tanzania.

Once our fair ship landed at the Seychelles, we were ready to meet the king, and extremely hungry because we had not packed food or water, only Gatorade, for the voyage. The address he gave us turned out to be fake; it led to the only Dairy Queen in the southern hemisphere which while royal was not quite the palace we were expecting. Tired and infected with scurvy, we chartered a small prop plane to take us to Nigeria, where we could meet another prince who we were also in contact with. But as the plane was taking off, a man wearing a small crown and riding a motorized scooter raced onto the runway imploring us to stop and listen to him. He turned out to be King Mbuntu III, and he repaid us the 320 dollars we lent him, explaining that it was just enough for him to buy either a royal motorcade OR a large crown, so he split the difference and opted for a tiny crown and an electric scooter. We headed back to his presidential palace (which was on the second floor of the Dairy Queen) and had a great time talking about sports, nautical travel, and tax exemptions. In the end he convinced us to give him back the 320 dollars, saying he'll give us double next year and granted us tax exempt status. 

King Mbuntu III with his (temporary) hat.

As a consequence of the tax exemption process, Outsider Sports Network has been absorbed by the Seychelles government Department of Sports as an effort to bring sports news and trivia to the good people of the Seychelles.

OSN is proud to partner with the Seychelles Islands, and we are excited to bring you the best content in the Indian Ocean! If you'll excuse us, we're late for our scurvy treatment. Thanks Jojo!

Nate Odenkirk has never been to the Seychelles.

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