The Mini-Golf PGA Championships Wrap Up

On our way back from the Seychelles, OSN stopped over in Nevada to cover the high-stakes 2018 PGA Jr. Putt-Putt Championship. Hundreds of putt-putters from around the world gathered in sunny Carson City at Minny Golf n' More behind the Burger King on Pepper Street to compete for the title of "number one best". If you missed our live coverage broadcast on the OSN channel, here's a quick rundown of highlights from the weekend.

It was an absolute nightmare from the beginning. The parking lot was too small to host the 150+ competitors, so many of the put putters had to illegally park in the Burger King parking lot. Through an anonymous tip, Burger King management figured out what was going on and called Diamond's Towing Service to tow away the cars. Customers only! By the middle of the day most of the cars had been towed and nothing other than a singular Crissandwich had been ordered.

The competition was stiff. This year's winner would receive a $25 gift certificate to any one of the three Minny Golf n' Mores in northwestern Nevada. Plus, the champion would also get a second generation iPod shuffle, generously donated by Ms. Princely, the Spanish teacher at the local middle school who came with her boys to watch the game.

The games themselves went alright until the tenth hole, when the windmill's blades stopped spinning and a windmill expert had to be flown in to fix it. Accusations of cheating were rampant; convinced foul play was involved, the ref demanded all competitors submit a urine sample while the windmill was down for repairs. 120 of the 122 remaining competitors suddenly dropped out, thinning the competition significantly.

The problematic windmill.

The score remained tied for the last five holes; mechanic Chuck Pellegrino and District Judge Tom Tassler were in a nail-biting race for first. It finally came down to the last hole--traditionally the hardest in putt putt golf. This time proved no exception! Pellegrino and Judge Tassler would have to putt their golf balls across the green and into a very narrow tunnel that would shoot the ball out on the other side of the lake. A complex system of obstacles would meet them there: a long, wooden plank with only a small opening, then a series of nearly impossible Rube-Goldberg-esque contraptions would have to be expertly navigated around to win. Tensions were high as Judge Tassler, first to putt, hit the ball with his gavel straight through into the tunnel: a clean shot. Pellegrino would really have to dazzle the crowd in order to beat that incredible putt by Judge Tassler. Unfortunately, the Crissandwich Pellegrino ate earlier wasn't agreeing with him and he fumbled his shot--straight into the water trap. Undeterred, and with a crazed look in his eye, Pellegrino ran after it and dove straight into the stagnant pool of water, intent on rescuing the ball and thus his legacy.

Pellegrino didn't make it. Some say he drowned, some say he gave up, some say he had food poisoning from the Crissandwich. Some say all three (me). Whatever the cause, Pellegrino's death meant Judge Tassler was declared the 2018 number one best, at which point he slammed his gavel down, cheering "CASE CLOSED! CASE CLOSED! CASE CLOSED!" as his friends and admirer looked on.

Chuck Pellegrino (1978-2018). We'll miss ya, buddy!

All in all, it could have been much worse. The singular fatality from this year's games was remarkably low, considering the death rates from previous years. That said, we can't wait for the 2019 putt putt championship, to be held at Minny Golf n' More in beautiful Carson City!

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Nate Odenkirk can be found practicing for next year's minigolf championship.

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